Sex, Teens, and Everything in Between:
The New and Necessary Conversations Today's Teenagers Need to Have about Consent, Sexual Harassment, Healthy Relationships, Love, and More
The only book you need to start a conversation with your kids about sexual harassment, consent, #metoo, and more
Many American teens are steeped in a culture that sends unsettling messages about sex, through everything from politics to music to the normalization of porn. In today's environment, it's crucial that teens be able to ask hard questions about how to take care of themselves, make decisions that reflect their values, and stay safe. In Sex, Teens, and Everything in Between, veteran teen sex educator and mother of three Shafia Zaloom helps you discuss a wide variety of sex-related topics with your teens, including:
How to get and give consent
What it means to have "good" sex
How to help prevent sexual harassment and assault
How to stay safe in difficult situations
The legal consequences of sexual harassment and assault, and what to do if a teen experiences assault or is accused of it
Stories from survivors of sexual assault
Approachable, engaging, and with real-life scenarios and discussion questions in every chapter, Sex, Teens, and Everything in Between is a must-have resource that gives parents and educators the tools they need to have meaningful conversations with teens about what sex can and should be.
"Sex, Teens, & Everything in Between is the ultimate relationship guide for teens of all orientations and identities. Teens will find the information, tools and wisdom to support their development of personal and sexual agency. These pages are loaded with familiar scenarios, each followed by helpful perspective and a breakdown of potential choices and outcomes relating to each situation. Teens, parents and educators will benefit from the ample resources, conversation starters, personal stories from teens, and extensive glossary of terms. Shafia provides readers the fuel to make the consent conversation clear, relevant and applicable for everyone, acknowledging the interconnected factors of social media, normalized hookup culture, Internet porn and gender norms."
- Cindy Pierce, author of Sexploitation: Helping Kids Develop Healthy Sexuality in a Porn-Driven World
“This is a terrifically valuable guide to perhaps the most fraught, complicated and profound dimension of teens’ lives—healthy sex and love. I don't know another book on this topic that anchors itself so deeply in the nuances of teens' actual experiences—what they fret about, desire, fear and hope for. Nor do I know a book on this topic that so successfully avoids platitudes and that provides so many specific, insightful and practical recommendations for parents, educators and teens themselves. Zaloom also has a fine moral compass, a capacity to listen deeply and the wisdom that only comes from many years of experience working with teens. Every teen and every parent and educator—and every other adult who interacts with teens—should read this book.”
- Richard Weissbourd, Senior Lecturer on Education, Faculty Director Human Development and Psychology, Co-Director Making Caring Common Project, Harvard Graduate School of Education, Author of The Parents We Mean to Be
"Talking to our children about sex, consent, and healthy relationships has never been easy but for this generation of parents, it can understandably be overwhelming and even scary. Sex, Teens & Everything in Between gives you the information you need and really must have to navigate this tricky terrain--for you and your child. As the mother of two teen boys, I read this book with urgency and was so glad to see Shafia's balanced and thoughtful advice. So don't wait until you think your children are sexually active or you think they're mature enough. In today's world, it is imperative to start talking to our children as soon as they and their friends are interacting with social media. Sex, Teens & Everything in Between shows you how with both wisdom and tools to help you have the conversations that will keep your child safe and healthy."
-Rosalind Wiseman, New York Times best-selling author, Queen Bees and Wannabees
"Sex Educator Shafia Zaloom has written an utterly remarkable book. Open to any page—or even a random paragraph—and you will discover the bottomless depth of her wisdom, experience, and expertise. Far from the minimalistic “stay out of trouble” approach to sexual health education so common in the U.S., Ms. Zaloom shows parents how to speak to their teens about sexual decision-making through a sex-positive lens grounded in the values of empathy, kindness, respect, responsibility, mutuality and joyful intimacy. Within that humanistic framework, the issue of “sexual consent” becomes, ultimately, a virtual no-brainer."
-Deborah M. Roffman, human sexuality educator and author of Talk to Me First: Everything You Need to Know to Become Your Kids' Go-To Person about Sex
"This extraordinary and comprehensive work by Shafia Zaloom appears just in time; she has fashioned her life’s work as a health educator into a bold and powerful framework that answers pressing questions about budding sexuality and consent. However, the book does far more; it holds each of us accountable for doing our part to help adolescents develop intimate relationships rooted in communication and care. The author has rendered a great service to parents and educators. You must read her unflinching treatise on developing socially and emotionally sound adults."
- Dr. Louis N. Wool, Superintendent of Schools, Harrison Central School District, New York State School Superintendent of the Year 2010
“Adolescent sexuality has become more complex and the issues surrounding it more difficult than ever before. Shafia is a rational voice for parents, caregivers, and kids on this difficult and sometimes awkward topic. Sex, Teens, & Everything in Between is a must read for the parent, caregiver, and educator who would like to understand the teen universe of all things sex, and pro-actively and thoughtfully engage with their teens around these challenging topics.”
- Debra Wilson, President of the Southern Association of Independent Schools, former General Counsel of the National Association of Independent Schools